I have not blogged about personal life issues for a very long time. Every road warrior knows (or soon learns) living on the road does take a toll on your personal life, your habits and your mannerisms. After much thought, I’ve decided that changes that I’ve recently made in my life were important enough to share. Perhaps as a result you’ll all get a better picture of my character. (I just hope you all don’t think less of me after this article.)
One of the hazards of any job that requires you to live on the road for many weeks at a time, in various hotels and cities around the world is the inevitable boredom that can result. You get up, you go to work and you return to the hotel. There is nobody there to greet you, or to talk too you. There is very little to do. After reading dozens of books, even reading gets boring. Now, while I’m sure that everyone deals with this situation differently, one of the more popular ways to deal with it has been to find a local pub. Yes, a bar, saloon, watering-hole or whatever you want to call it. It’s an age-old pastime popularized by such TV series as “Cheers”. You find a reasonable establishment, slide up a seat, order a brew or other beverage of choice. Before you know it you are engaged in conversation with some other person. Before you know it, a small group is solving the worlds problems. It sounds silly, but it kills time and to be clear, I’ve met many nice and genuinely interesting people with just such a pastime. Kept in moderation, there is nothing wrong with this activity. But there are hazards if you aren’t careful.
After several years of this you can easily find yourself turning 1-2 drinks into 3-4. If you are in your hotel bar, then no harm because you can just walk up to your room. A group of people “shooting the crap” will, inevitably begin to tell “fish-stories” after 3-4 drinks. What this entails is starting with a small fragment of truth and exaggerating it to the point that it’s a very interesting work of pure fiction. This typically involves stories about cars, women, or, well … fishing. I used to see through this, and laugh. It is in fact, harmless. Then, I started telling a “fish-story” myself. Why? I suppose it was a failed attempt to make myself more interesting. (It’s easy to forget that you already ARE interesting.) I felt like a fool afterwards. Harmless? To everyone else, yes. To me? I didn’t like that I just fabricated a story. (In my case, I actually told it to a friend, and I doubt that the story went over nearly as well as I thought it might have.)
This led me to begin shutting my mouth and listening more. In fact, I went back to drinking 1 or 2 drinks and just observing my fellow travelers, sort of like an outsider. I was less than impressed. I tried to visualize myself as part of this same group sitting around telling fish stories while killing off my brain-cells before heading back up to an empty hotel room. The thought was depressing.
More recently I’ve been spending time at home. I have been off the road for about two months. During this time I spent a few nights going back to my local pub to chat with people I’ve known for years. While we’ve never told “fish-stories” to each other, and while we have rarely had more than 1 or 2 beers in an evening, I did look at the situation in an entirely different light. I used to love the social aspect of my “local cheers”. Now I’m bored with it. We don’t talk about anything different, and the obligatory question “What’s new?” solicits the same response each evening. My pastime to kill the boredom had itself become boring! Worse, I was paying good money to sit there and be bored. Yes, it was a great place to watch a game, but for less money I can get the game at home.
After coming to this realization and after pondering it for a few weeks I started to ask myself what is it that was really bringing me happiness? The answer is the same thing as always; my family. While this doesn’t help me as much on the road, it certainly was enough justification for me turning in my membership card to the “barstool club”.
I wanted to re-focus on the most important aspect of my life, and while I’m at it, improve my health! So,my wife and I have decided to give up alcohol. We’ll probably still occasionally have a glass of wine with dinner, but we are at the point we don’t need wine or drink to “take the edge off”. I’m personally at the point where I can hang out with my friends (even at a bar) and be content with a diet cola or a glass of water. (I’ll bet I become the popular guy to drive people home.) With the money I’m saving I’ve purchased a set of web-cams so that I can interact with the kids while I’m on the road. This should make going back to the hotel room that much less boring. For the remaining time I’ll be using the hotel gym, or maybe even reading some books on the new iPad.
In conclusion; I feel it is a great thing to periodically re-examine your life. There will be times where you like where it’s going. There will also be times when you look and say “wow, I really took a wrong turn there, let’s go back and find out where, so I can get back on the right road." I am not always happy with some of the choices I’ve made. Some have just left me unfulfilled. Other choices have made me feel foolish.
I have a wonderful and blessed life. I want to get the most out of it, and give the most of myself to those I care about. I’m really looking forward to refocusing my energy into other areas of my life. I’m sure some of my fellow travelers can relate.
To my friends, if you want to meet up for a drink, that’s fine. I hope you don’t mind if I order a diet-cola. 
